Gardening Maintenance
Growth doesn’t typically happen in comfort. It occurs in the soil of discomfort, through seasons that test your patience, resilience, and faith. Just like a flower can’t thrive if you refuse to get your hands dirty, you can’t bloom if you keep avoiding what needs tending.
The Weed Called Avoidance
Avoidance is the most deceptive gardener. It promises protection (“If I don’t look at it, I won’t feel it.”), but in truth, avoidance is a weed. It grows quietly, spreading its roots beneath the surface of your mind and heart, choking out new growth before it even begins.
When you avoid discomfort, hard conversations, grief, or fear, you create temporary peace that is sterile. Nothing grows there. The soil becomes compacted, hard, and resistant to anything new. Eventually, even the prettiest parts of your life start to wilt because the roots can’t breathe.
Psychologically, avoidance reinforces anxiety and stagnation. It teaches your nervous system that “uncomfortable” equals “unsafe,” making every opportunity for change feel threatening. You stay in cycles of procrastination, emotional withdrawal, and fear thus watering weeds instead of roots.
The Power of Acceptance
Acceptance, on the other hand, is the rain after drought. It’s not resignation or approval. It is acknowledgment. It says, “This is here, and I will meet it as it is.”
When you practice acceptance, you till the soil of your inner world. You break up hardened ground, allowing air, water, and sunlight to reach deeper places. Acceptance creates space for healing and insight to take root.
In therapy and personal growth, acceptance is a cornerstone of transformation. It allows you to observe without judgment, to feel without fleeing, and to move forward without needing everything to be perfect first. It’s the art of standing in your garden (thorns, wilted leaves, and all) and deciding it’s still worth tending.
Growth Requires Both Light and Shadow
Every garden has its cycles. Growth doesn’t mean you’re always blooming. There will be times it means resting, pruning, or even losing old petals. But avoidance robs you of those necessary transitions.
Acceptance teaches you to see each season as sacred:
The planting season- starting over, setting new intentions.
The growing season- tending, weeding, and nurturing yourself through discomfort.
The harvest- acknowledging your progress and reaping the lessons.
The resting season- reflection, restoration, and preparing for what’s next.
When you meet each season with acceptance instead of resistance, growth becomes a rhythm, not a punishment.
Closing Thoughts
Avoidance may keep your hands clean, but it keeps your garden barren. Acceptance may get your nails dirty, but it brings life back to your soil.
So, the next time you catch yourself retreating from your emotions, ask: “Am I avoiding this pain, or am I preparing the ground for something new to grow?”
Healing isn’t about escaping the storm, it’s about learning how to bloom through it.
