Wish I May, Wish I Might

Let’s continue our journey exploring mental health as it relates to vines, bushes, roses, and dandelion seed heads. If you have not been following along, please start with the blog titled “The Way of The Cacti,” and then read “The Ivy Way: Upward Growth”. When you are caught up, continue below.

Here’s The Deal…

This week is for my gone with the wind, topsy turvy dreamers, the Dandelion Seed Heads. It is important to note that dandelion seed heads are the mature, gray-haired versions of young yellow dandelions. They are the make-a-wish puffballs of our youth. What is most notable about dandelions in any phase of existence is their adaptability. They grow from deep roots that allow them to survive in various climates while defending against environmental and even human interruption. Deep roots aerate stagnant soils allowing them to survive in the shade, heat, and even drought. Even mowing is futile, because they just regrow from their strong roots. Despite their survival skills, dandelions die and regrow elsewhere when their seed heads break free and reattach miles away. Then, new roots run deep. 

Here’s The Rub…

These sound like positive qualities, but keep in mind that any strength in excess can become problematic. If adaptation is your superpower, check your boundaries. If you’ve ever been called a hopeless romantic, a people pleaser, a pushover, or described as codependent, tap in. If trusted sources have ever said that you lose yourself, disappear, and are overly submissive or too accommodating when you are in a relationship, you could be a dandelion seed head. Living like this may leave you feeling spread thin, blowing in the wind.

Here Comes The Ouch…

I’m going to hold your hand as I say this: You know better. You are not some immature dandelion waiting to be plucked. You have lived. You know how to take care of yourself physically from top to bottom. But do you know what you need to feel safe, seen, and cared for emotionally? Make a list. Now compare your relationships - both romantic and platonic - to see if they align. If not, it is time to speak up, speak out, and/or make moves. 

Here’s The Takeaway…

Remember, there are no consolation prizes for survival or living the hard way. Just because you can survive where you are, doesn’t automatically mean that you will thrive there. Check to see if the resistance you are experiencing is a warning that where you are, is not for you. Those flags aren’t yellow. That’s red, friend. Ignoring those flags could result in you picking up the pieces again.